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It’s only natural

There’s a popular idea about Queer love         it’s perfectly natural.        
Natural in the sense              that maybe it came from God        or the earth      or whatever
you believe to be the first real thing               queer love was part of it...                 

I like that.

Back when the earth was a mass of water            and life that looked like water    and the water
was always giving birth       to more little blobs of water

one male amoeba told another male amoeba he thinks his slime is sexy     out of every amoeba
in this mass of primordial goo your slime       is the shiniest                       or the thickest   
I’m not sure what the standards of beauty are        for homosexual single celled organisms.

A millennia later two lesbian amphibians roll onto the shore from under their blanket of ocean.
Become the first living creatures to invent ‘Sex on the beach’                Based on their findings
they return to the deep and do not resurface     for another 200  million  years.

And then  *BAM*    gay dinosaurs              Can you imagine that?                           A scary ass
carnivore         bumming another carnivore           finishing with a cum splat the size of a car
Hey... Theropod with the God bod      Follow me behind a palm tree      show me what it means
to be a ‘man eater’.

And then an asteroid comes down on the earth or some shit and *bam*        
everything starts again and somehow      we’re still gay.

Queer love is so natural you could sell it at Lush.   

Dissolve it in a bathtub and gift it to the source it came from.

What came first, the chicken or the egg is such a boring question        I wanna learn which hens
are swapping glances in the Hay. Which Rooster is trimming his tail to pull the early riser on the
farmyard next door.

I think the concept         came as a response to the biblical retort Well it wasn’t Adam and Steve!
Was it?

But what if it was?      Do you think Christian narrative fell into a plothole when some pleb in the
early noughties (like four zeros) said Hey            If Adam was the first dude?   Who did he fuck?      

Queer sex is so natural. As I sit in the pews of a church with marble walls, listening to a man in
robes adorned with gold I remind myself   My partner has never needed to adorn himself to be
beautiful   

As the priest talks to me about the sin of homosexuality, I sit there thinking Fuck man      I’m 8.
Why are you telling me about this fire and brimstone shit.                                     I may be naive
but I think 8 is too young to be monitoring yourself for impure thoughts.         I just wanna throw
mud around with Cameron. Blond boy from the farm next door who would grow up to become a
Mormon.         I’m not gonna call my feelings for him love for another 6 years or so     hell     I’m
not even gonna call them feelings until I’m 18, cause Scots develop slowly.              But I still
feel happier playing with him than I do other kids. And I don’t know what chapter of your 1200 page
book talks about the simplicity of throwing mud at another eight year old         but I hope it’s a
happy one.