i am smaller than this summer night

i am smaller than this summer night smaller than a wisp of lace fallen from a ballgown smaller than a fluorescent teal pinhead that pricks the white spidery first layer of skin small enough to be forgotten at a party small enough to disappear into the reverb or the white-hot snowflakes that fall from the fire like fallen angels like sin like burning like burning up like fever i fall to the ground ripe and unused like the wild blackberries outside the window each dark speck of flesh an uncut gem all the blackbirds crush them to nothing with their orange beaks and unfocused eyes the world is changing and it has changed because of me i can fold a sheet i can pick a flower i can plant a seed and watch pink-and-white poppies grow there because of me i am bigger than some things i am bigger than the blackberries and that’s why i eat them all the smaller things get eaten by bigger mouths i am bad at goodbyes but it’s not like anyone is good at them anyway i am bad at many things because i make myself too small and too meek bow my head too much let leering eyes see the bone-white parting in my hair where the scalp shows through i am insignificant in this world i am a god and can do anything i don’t make any difference i change the world every day i am a beacon of knowledge i know nothing i know nothing and i know this about myself

Cadence Chung (she/they) is a poet, student, and musician from Wellington. She draws inspiration from Tumblr posts, antique stores, and dead poets. She is always thinking about vampires. Her debut poetry chapbook anomalia was released in April 2022 with We Are Babies Press.

Poem note: This poem later turned into a song in my musical In Blind Faith, called “This Summer Night,” where a gold miner sings about her love for a socialite.

You can follow Cadence on Twitter @cadence_chung.